External Forces

I feel like I'm in a constant state of seeking validation. From my boss, my mom, my sister, my friends. I'll do whatever it takes just to be in their good books. Change my personality, my mannerisms, my speech, my body language, my clothes, my habits. They all go to the wind when I feel myself slipping from their graces. I don't value myself or respect myself enough to stay true to who I am. I guise it behind the need to combat my anxiety surrounding interactions with others. It helps me feel safe and like nothing they do or say can affect me. Because If they don't like what I'm presenting to them, it's all an act anyways, it's not really me.

But it still manages to get under my skin and disrupt my whole day, my whole week. This defense mechanism of people-pleasing does not work. All it does is keep me far away from myself, making me feel disconnected and small because I don't know who I am.

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Stop looking outside of yourself for answers, reflect within.