The Possibilities are Before You

What if there was a way to override your thought process? To dive behind the scenes and manipulate those neural pathways that seem stuck in one endless loop? How would one go about doing this? Well, the answer is not that easily.

As learned in the books Life in Five Senses by Gretchen Rubin and Waking the Tiger by A. Levine with Ann Frederick, it takes constant reconditioning to unlearn social rules and adaptations used to uphold 'normal' appearances. We are taught from a young age how to act respectfully and present oneself as a normal functioning human. If you go through a tough time, keep it to yourself. If you fail at something, it means you're not trying hard enough. If your self expression promotes anything outside of the box, do not let it show in one aspect of your being. You must conform to what is acceptable, unless you wish to be bullied and berated until you acquiesce.

Humans are quite curious creatures. We pride ourselves on invention and incessantly developing new technologies to adapt to a more modern and functionable world. Once one feat of progress has been made, we charge until we meet the next with a vigor unlike any other. There is nothing that sates our need for knowledge and approval that we are supreme in this world.

When it comes to social politics however, it is another story entirely. It seems when new ideas and thoughts are brought up surrounding sexuality, gender expression, anything deemed 'liberal' essentially, we are told that this type of thinking is not of a sound mind. We are told that this is not the way that the world has been conducted before us, and therefore it is not allowed to change. We must stick with old ways of thinking that are deemed respectable and conforming to a traditional mindset.

It is the belief that things such as gender identity have never existed preliminary to the late 2010's and 2020's. According to them, this has all been drawn up out of thin air and concocted with malintent, providing relation to delusion and general absurdity.

Well then answer me this:

How does a large group of people decide altogether to 'start' acting on beliefs that apparently do not predate 20 years?

Simple, they don't. This is not some social trend that a person solicits for all to join. This is not a call for attention or done in vain.

This is to do with the inner workings of the mind.

From birth, you are hardwired from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You will always end up as the person you were meant to be, no matter the struggles you will ultimately face. You are shaped by your experiences, not defined. You will meet your destiny and make peace with it. Whether you're a certain ethnicity, gender, sexuality, these will not, should not, be a barrier to your path. We all just are, we all just exist. There are no two ways about it.

However:

There is no easy explanation that they will be satisfied with. No matter the justifications given, a blind ear will always be turned. For people so keen on progressing the world, why do these aspects get left behind?

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Social behaviours are the most vital key to humanity. They dictate how we act toward one another and directly affect the survival of our species. There is more room to grow beyond superficial advances. Why aren't we starting with the ones that really matter? The ones that enhance quality of life and bring true understanding among the masses?

Fear.

Fear of change, fear of something different. Fear of something we do not understand. This is surely something you are aware of if you're reading this. People are driven to hate and violence as a reaction to unique identities. They are scared of their ideals being threatened and challenged. They act as if these groups are out for blood. It is quite the opposite. These groups simply wish to find joy in their existence, just as any other person. They wish only to live in the ways that bring fulfillment and celebrate their self-expression, whether in modesty or exuberance.

So many times has it been said that gay people are too open with their love. That they shouldn't be 'shoving it in people's faces' that they love someone of the same gender. But straight people can do this, yeah? I suppose it's fine when society has been heavily conditioned towards this disposition. Through the media, in school, at home, everywhere seems to accept only one form of life and love. It must be Christian and pure and untainted by 'evil', whatever that means.

Think of all the brilliant minds that have been silenced due to their uniqueness. How their voices have been stolen because they are 'inadequate' in this current society. Imagine if they were uplifted, imagine if they were integrated and accepted and loved and celebrated. Not the digestible kind shown by companies during pride month, black history month, and so on. Rather, the genuine kind. Not handled with oven mitts, but nurtured lovingly in warm hands.

Is it really so much to ask that every person has the right to express themself as they wish?

This is where every person must first learn to accept themself.

You nary can change the minds of others, but your own? Now that's a fantastic place to start.

Top of the list and likely most daunting: trauma. In Waking the Tiger, the concept of flight or flight in animals is discussed. This stress response is released when animals are faced with a menacing predator. They have two choices: fight it, or flee from it. But did you know there is a third option? This mystical third option is called the freeze response. It occurs as a last ditch in survival, when the stress is so overwhelming that the body shuts down the awareness of the animal in order to protect it from suffering. This is physically known as 'playing dead'. This gives the animal a chance to think over its options once more, and to have an advantage over the predator.

Once the animal has escaped its predicament, and has employed the freeze response, it has a build-up of energy. When fighting back or fleeing, the animal has the chance to discharge this energy and return to a normal state of being/calmness. By itself, the freeze response does not do this. To prevent storing this energy in its body in a debilitating manner, the animal will shake, sweat, and use physical motion to regain equilibrium. This stops traumatic symptoms from forming.

Humans, unlike animals, fail to complete this cycle. We store this unreleased energy in our nervous system and body tissues, which creates a state of unresolved stress. We do this simply due to social conditioning. We are taught to hold it together for the sake of appearances and not let anyone catch sight of you struggling physically or emotionally. This presents itself in two ways: hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal. Hyper-arousal shows symptoms of anxiety, being on high-alert, and constantly on-edge. Hypo-arousal shows symptoms of chronic depression, lethargy, and numbness. These both affect memory, emotional regulation, executive function, and social cognition. They pave neural pathways that reinforce fear, hopelessness, and avoidance. Oftentimes, this causes dissociation, loss of touch with intuition, and robs the sense of meaning and purpose. All around, these are quite hindering to daily life and functions.

This book encourages its reader to discharge these feelings through sense, specifically the felt sense. The felt sense is the subtle holistic bodily awareness of a particular situation. It is the pre-verbal sense of experiences that create the sum total of you. When you build up your felt sense, it is much easier to release the old and un-felt traumas you hold. You are transforming it in a way that is more manageable and allows for more vibrant aliveness. Get connected with your body and breath and senses. Discover your responses to certain images, situations, and pieces of literature. Question how you know that your responses are your own, and not those that have been placed upon you. This will allow you to truly know the way different stimuli affect you and to get in tune with your body/mind connection.

Now, this on it's own may not be enough. This is where Life in Five Senses comes in. Gretchen Rubin speaks of learning to awaken and engage these useful senses. Sight, smell, taste, touch, hearing: they combine to open your world to the details beneath the norm. Feel the vibrancy of the sight of the unexpected, listen closely to the vibrations being sent to your brain, savour the different smells that omit memory and comfort, centre yourself through touch, be specific with your taste and hone your interests. These all bring you closer to knowing your core. They allow you to interact with the world in a less utilitarian way, no longer passing by gorgeous landscapes without stopping for a second look. What a waste of time it is to not take in the beauty all around. Think of all you have missed in your life when you were rushing to a meeting or a lecture or a meet-up with friends. Did you see that breathtaking sculpture in the square? The smell of fresh pastries from the bakery down the street? The feel of a magnificent marigold in full bloom?

How little we use these techniques to ground us in everyday life. It is truly a shame.

Relying on the senses might seem a bit elementary, but have you ever really given thought to them? It is doubtful that you have truly immersed yourself in an experience, soaking up all that it has to offer. Maybe next time you're on a walk or driving to work, notice those little things that you always subconsciously see. Maybe it's the rolling hills where the sun rises. A cute shop that you pass by everyday. Or perhaps it's the annoying train that blocks you from getting where you need to be. Enjoy these moments. Try to discover something new about it each time you pass. Notice what stays the same. From day to day, you will see how your perception changes, how keen your senses become when you are wholly focused. It does wonders for grounding.

Employ this technique if you are a person that finds themself antsy and anticipatory of the next event. If you are always rushing through life and not stopping to smell the lilacs. You may think it slows you down, but maybe that's just what you need. A small break from hectic schedules and responsibilities, a moment of reflection and appreciation that draws back to your core and beliefs. Who knows, it might just be a new source of enjoyment.

All that said, self-growth is most vital in the world today. Everyone is out for themselves and is unwilling to change their beliefs. I encourage you to question your thoughts and actions. Dive into what perpetuates your current mindset and open yourself to new possibilities. Becoming stagnant is when you allow yourself to encourage hatred and shame. I'm sure this is something you'd like to avoid. Do all that you can to immerse yourself in newness. Take a college course, go for a walk in nature, visit that coffee shop you've always wanted to. Risk and reward, what a curious concept.

Many shy away from it for fear of failure. But what's so wrong with failure? It brings you closer to the answers you seek. It allows you to specialize your experience on this Earth and surround yourself with enrichment and wonderful people. Every time you find yourself sinking back down, reconnect your body and mind. Meditate, eat good food, hang out with that cousin you love, anything that helps bring balance and refreshment to your days. Just really feel. With no restraint, everything on the line, go forth and capture it.

What's stopping you?