The Ultimate

There's a lot left unknown in my life. I don't know who I'll become, who I'll meet, what experiences will define me as a whole. There's so many questions floating around. And which fantasy do I latch onto? Do I choose the positive one? Where I have a home secluded in the woods. A creek flowing nearby, a fire pit roaring in the night, curled up with a book in my homely abode. Or do I choose the negative one? The one where I fail and fail again. Ever trying to be better but failing to accomplish all that I set out to do. The one where I stop trying and give into my vices. Let them numb my vigor and settle for less than.

Choices, choices. There seems to be a clear winner, however. Of course I wish to do better and provide a stable life for myself. One where my mental state does not have complete control of my happenings and finances are a worry of the past. This sounds like ultimate bliss to me. I would be a fool to not pursue this.

But there are so many things dragging me back down. I wonder why I feel the need to try so hard for things that may never come to me. I don't truly believe that I deserve happiness and passion. I don't know why I keep trying so hard when I keep getting pushed back down.

But there is always that feeble hope that worms its way into my soul, my being. It tells me that I can achieve greatness, if only I stay the course. So do I listen or turn a blind ear? Do I trust the unknown and fully give myself to it? I suppose I do. I would not so soon resign before trying to the full extent. If I'm going to go down, why not raise hell doing it? Live life to its fullest and experience all of the things that I'm meant to. Travel, live in a foreign city, have a partner, get trashed at a pub in Ireland with the locals, hike to the top of a mountain.

All of the obstacles currently in my path will not always be there. Most of them are a figment of my mind, easily passable, but I am trained to think the opposite. There is no risk in taking chances, only the opportunity to learn. I need to memorize this, make this the only option in my mind. There are no other choices, only this.

In doing so, I can go forth with no hesitance and take what is mine. Forge my path and meet destiny face to face. This is what I have always wanted. To reach the summit of me and say with pride that I have conquered this journey. I will look back on all that has come to be with a smile on my face. And then I will step foot into the next. Each leading me higher with more confidence and esteem.

I will be truly unstoppable.